Self-esteem is a key element to success and happiness. It’s the mental and emotional foundation that provides the motivation and drive necessary to achieve your goals in life says Peter DiCaprio. It helps you believe in yourself, shakes off criticism, encourages perseverance during difficult times, boosts willpower and aids you in decision-making. Self-esteem also influences how others perceive and treat you.
Unfortunately, self-esteem is not something we’re born with; it has to be ‘developed’ over time and in response to life experiences (good and bad). If your self-esteem remains low or non-existent, then you might want to consider how past events have shaped your feelings of confidence. If you’ve got a poor opinion of yourself, then understanding why and actively working to improve things can help you cope better in social situations, build meaningful relationships and attract the kind of people you want in your life.
Here are 3 Steps to Better Self Esteem, Charisma & Confidence for Life:
1. Identify past events that may have caused low self-esteem
Being quick to blame others for our problems robs us of credit where it’s due whilst shifting responsibility away from ourselves. You must take ownership of your negative feelings so you can address them head-on rather than avoid them or pretend they don’t exist by putting the blame elsewhere. Negative emotions such as jealousy, resentment and anger (towards you or towards others) can cause lowered self-esteem through learned helplessness: when we feel like we’re unable to change something, we lose motivation and the ability to improve or overcome it.
Question your feelings: why do you feel the way that you do? Is it because of something someone has done (or not done) or said? If so, then try putting yourself in their shoes; if they treated you like this, wouldn’t you respond in a similar manner? Ask yourself how much control another person really has over your emotions explains Peter DiCaprio. Recognize how certain people might be influencing your thoughts and actions without realizing it and learn to see them for what they are – just other human beings who make mistakes too!
Remember, there’s no need to feel guilty about standing up for yourself and doing whatever is necessary to protect and care for your mental and physical health. No one else is going to do it for you.
2. Take responsibility (and control) of your life
We can’t get through life on autopilot; we must make decisions every day and deal with the consequences whether good or bad. If we don’t, we risk drifting along aimlessly and missing out on opportunities that could bring real happiness and success into our lives. When we feel like a victim (of our environment or other people), we stop taking responsibility for ourselves which in turn stops us from being able to improve our lives when things aren’t going so well. It also prevents us from achieving our full potential because much of what happens to us is outside of our control!
The difference between who you are now and who you want to be in the future is all down to YOU. It’s your job to define yourself, set goals, work out where you went wrong, make plans for the future and take action!
3. Make a list of things that are important to YOU
People with strong self-esteem know what they’re about and have a clear understanding of who they are as individuals. They recognise their strengths but also their weaknesses without being overly critical or judgmental of themselves. They embrace new challenges but don’t feel threatened by them either because these are problems they can handle on their own without having to rely on anyone else for support.
However, one thing that really helps people build confidence is feeling passionately about something… getting involved in something that they’re really interested in or care about, something that makes them feel good and helps them improve as a person says Peter DiCaprio.
Think of what you like doing (for example, learning new things) and write down your passions on one side of paper; on the other side make a list of things you don’t like doing (like getting stuck in routine). Now, look at each thing on your ‘don’t like’ list then ask yourself why you feel that way? How could this be turned into something positive? What are the benefits if you did… maybe it would help you overcome a fear by facing it head-on? Could undertake this challenge give you opportunities to meet new people with the same interests as yourself?
Be grateful for what you have and don’t take anything for granted. If you find yourself feeling down about a specific aspect of your life, write down everything that’s good about it too – even the smallest things.